What not to do after a bad 5 iron

Scott, a friend with whom I grew up, always had trouble with the 3rd hole at Standard Country Club in Louisville, Ky. Straightforward though it is at just 165 yards with no especially interesting design feature, he was hopelessly attracted to the out of bounds fence beyond a bunker to the left of the green.

On one particular summer evening, a homeowner behind the tee had his fence down while switching it over from chain-linked to wood. Exposed to the course, the poor fellow was working on his swimming pool perhaps 15 yards from the tee box as Scott approached and hit yet another wicked 5 iron hook. The man should have been paying attention.

As his ball settled near the OB fence, Scott, disgusted, attempted a quick faux-practice swing – the type where you rear back fast and hard and then swing violently through in anger. But that swing was even worse than his real one. The club slipped from his hands in the back swing and went soaring end-over-end toward the nearby homeowner. The man, who was crouched down cleaning the pool’s steps, looked up just in time to, no doubt, feel a surge of helplessness.  He was saved when the 5 iron deflected off the handrail just inches from his face.

Scott decided to forego playing a provisional ball.


What not to do after a bad 5 iron — 5 Comments

  1. This man needs to learn self-control. The way to play well is to keep your emotions in check. Look at Jack, Ernie, Tom, Bobby, and Tiger (until recently). Those men know how to keep things in check.
    There is hope as he gets older, as noted by Bob Bruce:
    “What’s nice about our Senior Tour is you can’t remember your bad shots.”

  2. Nice move here Silky. Looking forward to some really interesting anecdotes and the Boyz should prove a treasure trove. After all, what would golf be without the silly stories. Lets hear them.

  3. Schwartz, this was undoubtedly one of the most memorable moments of your life! Maybe more memorable than the day you lost your virginity. Well, I suppose that moment was quite fleeting.

  4. Robbie,
    All very well written and expressed. The worst tantrum I’ve seen. A guy I knew was so mad at his lousy tee shot, overall play, alcohol intake and thought of losing a steep bet to a friend, who relentlessly busted his ass verbally all day, went like this. After the tee shot he hit deep into the ruff he swung his driver at the trunk of an oak tree. Upon the drivers head connecting with the tree it broke the club and it back lashed and broke his hand in three places – this was a tantrum.

    • Thanks for the input Eric. I’m looking for more tales like these. Sounds like this gentleman was behaving a bit less than gentlemanly.

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