So, the Open Championship has ended, and because it is the first since major since I began this blog, I think it’s time for me to start a tradition: Tantrum grades.
After each major, I plan to grade the players who are caught losing it on camera for the quality of their outbursts. I’m also going to grade the announcers for how they call those tantrums. Hopefully, the day won’t come where we have an outburstless major.
So without furhter ado, let me proceed with this batch of rankings.
Charl Schwartzel – The wee South African stole the show. Fresh from four bogeys in five holes during Friday’s second round, Schwartzel skanked a 6 iron out of the rough on 15 into the right greenside bunker. He then moved immediately into a “Screw This Game, My Game And This Goddamn Club Tomahawk Chop,” breaking the 6 iron cleanly down the middle of the shaft with a loud clank. Schwartzel’s form was outstanding and the expression on his face as he walked after the shot was priceless. – A
Tiger Woods – More times than I recall, Woods followed up a poor effort at Muirfield with a loud, “goddammit Tiger!” Nothing spectacular from the man who is among the PGA Tour’s worst sports. In fact, I’d call it downright unimaginative. Still, the sheer repitiveness of these televised outbursts deserves some respect. – B
Paul Azinger and Curtis Strange – These ex-player announcers earned cudos for defending Schwartzel’s antics. Strange, himself a hothead during his playing days, said that he always believed it was best to let the anger out, then move on. Azinger, though less directly, took a similar view. – Azinger, B+, Strange A
Mike Tirico – Too many needless admonishments of Woods, whose epithat’s likely didn’t cause many Scottish ears to fall off. As an aside, I still haven’t forgiven Tirico for blantantly cheering aginst Michigan in last year’s Outback Bowl. – C-